Barhyte family emails

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 +{| class="quote"
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 +Cup holder
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 +From: Mom
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 +Wednesday, July 9th Time: 5:41pm
 +
 +Sorry to bother you at work. I think I broke the cup holder on my computer. I put a glass of tea in there and it broke off. The computer guy I called said it wasn't a cup holder, but I know it is. My neighbor Betty told me and her grandson works for Gizzle.
 +|}

Revision as of 07:33, 11 July 2008

The following is email correspondence between Glenn Barhyte and family members, mainly his wife Cecilia.


Contents

About Work

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

March 31, 2008

Remember when I was telling you about Eugene, that new pencil pusher in the records department? Well, get a load of this e-mail he just sent me:

<<<<<<<From: department of records>
< Just a friendly reminder: make sure to use our new plastic-coated paperclips when
< fastening your weekly reports. They're easier on the hands and they brighten up the
< office, too!
< Thanks,
< Eugene Randall

Can you believe this guy? Get a life, buddy!

FWD: Game Night

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 14th, 2008

< Hey, gang (oops - I probably shouldn't use that term loosely, what with our line < of work - JK!)
< It's time for another game night at my place. You bring the wine, I'll bring the
< fun. Get ready for some killer backgammon (there I go with the poor choice of words
< again!)
< --Melvin Finnigity

Don't worry - I already told him we can't make it. Oh, by the way, your mother's really "sick", in case anyone asks.
-Glenn

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Why did you cancel? I think an evening of Chinese Checkers and cheese fondue is just what you need.

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Well, then, why don't you go to Finn's house without me? I’m sure it'll be a blast.
--G-Dog

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Don't get smart with me, mister.
See you tonight,
--C


Jokes

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 1, 2008

Sorry honey

When I got home from work today, I found Burt tearing through the autographed copy of your favorite true-crime novel, "The Lieutenant's Way." Then, he threw up all over your vinyl collection. I cleaned up the mess the best I could, but I don't think any of those records will play anymore.

Love you,
Cecilia

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

What? How did Burt get to the top shelf in my den? That book was irreplaceable. Damn mutt!

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

APRIL FOOLS!

Burt would never destroy your stuff - he's a good boy! Hope I didn't freak you out too bad.

(Still) Love you,
Cecilia

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Oh, geez. I can't believe I fell for that. Guess my mind's on other things. Good one, Cel.

Give Burt a sloppy, wet kiss for me.
--Glenn


To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 9, 2008

Just wanted to apologize because I won't be home until late tonight - got ssome business to do.

Stay sexy,
--Glenn


Thanks so much son!

From: Greta Anne Barhyte

April 23, 2008

Glenn,

I can't believe you sent me a computer! I had your brother set it up and then he taught me email, so now I'm truly "with it" as you kids say. You are a fine son - thank you!

Glenn, I worry about you so. You know, the Henderson kids all got into nice professions. Georgie is a airline mechanic now and Francis sells insurance. Have you ever thought about selling insurance? Myra says he makes good money. I could put you in touch with Francis if you'd like.

I love you!
Mom

To: Mom

The Henderson kids are a bunch of morons. They couldn't scratch two nickels together to get a dime. You never used to believe what Myra told you, anyway. What's gotten into you. ?

Don't worry about me. I'm a desk jockey. The only injury I'm risking is carpal tunnel syndrome. And besides, I like putting away the bad guys.

Love ya, Mom
Your favorite son

How do I get on the computer?

From: Mom

April 27 2008

Glenn, this is your mother. How do I get on the computer? It's not working. I can't get on the computer. Please help.

Mom


<none>

From: Mom

June 9th, 2008

Help! I lost all my web sites. What do I do?

You can't lose a web site. What do you mean exactly?
I used to see my things on the side of the web and now they're gone and I can't go anywhere. Did I do something wrong? Also….the little blue man is gone!
I think you mean your bookmarks. Hold down the "shift" key on your keyboard and then press "m" one time. Let me know if that works.
You're a genius!

Love, Mom

I'll show you some more tricks when you're here.

Cup holder

From: Mom

Wednesday, July 9th Time: 5:41pm

Sorry to bother you at work. I think I broke the cup holder on my computer. I put a glass of tea in there and it broke off. The computer guy I called said it wasn't a cup holder, but I know it is. My neighbor Betty told me and her grandson works for Gizzle.


New Mattress?

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 11th, 2008

Noticed that Feathers is having a sale on twin mattresses. The bed in the guestroom can really use a new one. Mom would like it when she visits. I'm going to stop in after work. We can charge it and pay the bill right away from my check next Friday. Want me to pick you up? We can get dinner after. You said you were having cravings for lobster and ice cream!

Sounds like a date. Did you notice if they have anything smaller on special?


Intruder alert!

From: Cecelia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 17th, 2008

Maybe we should have paid attention on game night. Know how to batten down hatches? My mom's coming on the 22nd.


Lunchtime mandate

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 25th

Mom's busy working in the guest room. I'm sneaking out and meeting you for lunch. You are not allowed to say "no." See you at the usual.


Free! Free! Free!

From: Cecelia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 27th

Just got back from dropping mom off at the airport. Always kind of sad to say "goodbye" despite the constant torture. I admit, it felt good having her around the past week. I'll miss her.

Before Notaro hostage situation

Hey hon

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 13th, 2008

I got a funny feeling about this case I’m working on. Do me a favor and stay out of Little Italy today, alright?
Love you,
--Glenn

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Why would I go into Little Italy? Are you OK? Call me, weirdo.
Love you back,
--Cecilia

Glenn's health

Checking in

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 11th, 2008

Did you take your heart medication this morning? If the answer is no, then I’m going to meet you for lunch and bring you those "damn pills" (as you call them).
--Your favorite wife

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

As much as I’d love to have lunch with you, I already took my meds and I'm booked all afternoon with appointments.
When did I call them "damn pills?" You must be thinking of someone else.
--Glenn


From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 16th, 2008

The doctor's office just called and said they had the results of your test from your ER visit last week. You went to the ER without telling me? It's hard enough being the wife of a cop without worrying myself about that little heart condition of yours. TALK TO ME!
--Cecilia

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Honey, don't get all upset about this, but I did go to the hospital on Sunday (was just a little off, no big deal). They changed my dosage and I'm feeling 100% better. I'm going to let you cool off for a bit and then I'm going to call you after my meeting and we'll talk about this rationally.

By the way, it's not like I'm a beat cop, dodging bullets every day. I work in an office (very exciting) - don't get all gloom and doom on me, OK?

Love you, love you, love you (I suck up pretty well, huh?)

--Glenn


Grrr

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 21st, 2008

OK, this time I know you forgot to take your heart pills. I tied a small thread to the medicine cabinet and, wouldn't you know it, the thread was unbroken when I checked it!
So, I'm coming to your office for lunch - that's a threat.

--Cecilia

RE: Grrr

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

April 21st, 2008

Wow, looks like we have another detective in the family. Thread on the medicine cabinet? You've lost it, sweetie. Lunch will be great - see you then.

--G


FWD: RE: Possible Consultation

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

May 1st, 2008

Cel - get a load of this touchy-feely quack. She sent me the following message about tomorrow's session. I can already tell this won't last long... or, maybe she'll hypnotize me and turn me into a shaman dream warrior - who knows?

< < Glenn, I'm so happy you changed your mind about using my services. I'm


< All the best, < Dr. Zelda

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Keep an open mind, grumpo. There's no use in seeing a shrink if you don't listen to what she has to say. Besides, what are you afraid of? You think she's going to diagnose you as a nutjob? I could save her some time - I ALREADY KNOW YOU'RE LOOPY!

Stay weird,
C


MCU work

FWD: Welcome

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

I just got this e-mail from the big cheese. Not too shabby, eh?

--Glenn Barhyte, rock star

<
< Detective Barhyte,
< I've been hearing great things about our newest crackerjack in MCU and I wanted
< Looking forward to working with you,
< --Lt. Gordon

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Congrats darling! An email from the boss, let's frame it! I knew I made the right decision not marrying Richie. Who cares if he's got three homes? I've got you babe.

Sorry I didn't reply sooner - I woke up sick to my stomach today. Maybe it was the conversation about your Mom coming to visit..JUST KIDDING!

-- Me


You Are So Cool

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 9th, 2008

Hey Sexy - Just wanted to congratulate you on the first day of your new job! I knew you were going places. I love you, tiger. How's it goin?

Hey! The job is going ok - the first hour was bone-chillingly intense. Just kidding. Everyone seems to be pretty cool, and I've met a couple of the people I'll be working the narcotics beat with - they're pretty hardcore. Actually I'm pretty excited - not as excited as when we play twister, but almost!


Conquest!

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 9th, 2008

Mark your calendar, hun. We're being knighted or something.


<


Coffee and more coffee

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 30th

Just got in. Can't remember the last time I crawled into the office this early but since I couldn't sleep with all that noise, I figured I'd get a jump on the casework today.

Hope you don't see this until a more reasonable hour. How you slept through that noise I'll never know.

Atoz moves in

Bought you earplugs.

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

June 30th

Don't be grumpy. You're very sweet for letting him stay with us for a while.

Sometimes couples go through these things. They think they're growing apart when they're really just changing as people. It can create stress I'm sure. Not that I know from my own experience, so don't go thinking that, mister policeman.

I guess for them it's coming down to wanting different things. He seems really confused right now, and with the exam not happening I think they're both seeing their futures in different lights. They just need some time to sort through this stuff. Who knows? I'm sure we don't know the whole story. Maybe something else is going on that we don't know about. You never know what happens behind other peoples' closed doors.

I know you didn't want him here after mom just left, but it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't lead you astray.... well... maybe a little astray.


Skin tight Barhyte

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

July 1st

Know what that is? That's what everyone is calling me!

Isn't it bad enough I pulled the July 4 shift for the third year in a row?

First, he clips his nails all over the kitchen floor, then he's always on the computer, and now he "does me a favor" by shrinking my uniform two sizes!? There's a reason it says "dry clean only"!!!!


Tooth Fairy Chronicles

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

July 1st

What was that this morning? He didn't mean to use your toothbrush. But, you didn't have to throw it at him... with a fresh glob of toothpaste on it... that's now all over my couch (notice how it's not YOUR couch anymore?)

Keep the old temper in check, sweetums – I don't want any more heart murmur scares. I've had enough to last me two lifetimes.

-The light of your freakin' life

I'll pay for it, I swear

From: Atoz

July 2nd

Um... I don't even know how to get started. I'm really, really, really, really sorry about your TV. I saw the gun maintenance memo and thought I'd do something nice for you since you were stuck late. I was cleaning it and it just went off. I swear. It wasn't my fault. I don't know how it happened.

Hey... on the upside, the set still turns on and gets sound... that's something, right? You can listen to TV until I can scrape together the money to replace it. I will replace it. You can count on me. I'll make this right.

Don't think my wife was too glad to see me home last night, but I understand if you've had enough of me all week. I think I would have thrown myself out if the shoe was on the other foot.


Worried

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

July 3rd Time: 5:47am

I hated having to come in early again with you still not feeling well. Maybe you should call the doctor?

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

July 3rd Time: 6:05am

It's sweet that you worry, but I'll be fine. I'm sure it's nothing. I just need to catch up on some sleep. You know how much I hate doctors.

Wish you didn't have to work this weekend. Miss you.

Great news

To: Atoz

July 3rd Time: 11:55am

I can't thank you enough. If you weren't here to get the phone who knows what would have happened. I could have lost them both. I can't even think about it. You really came through, man. I'll never forget this. Never.

Right now the doctors say everything's fine with Cecilia and the baby but they're keeping her overnight just in case.


s/he's kicking!

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Tuesday, July 8th Time: 10:12am

I felt the baby kick again! Or it was that bad Chinese food, I can't figure it out.

Know what I think? I think I can't wait for you to get home and curl up with me.

Love and kisses, The little lady waiting for you at home


Another late one

To: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Wednesday, July 9th Time: 5:39pm

It never stops. Won't be able to pick up dinner tonight. Have something to take care of. Should be home in time for the show. Have the popcorn waiting.

Love ya

Re: Another late one

From: Cecilia "Sugarpants" Barhyte

Wednesday, July 9th Time: 5:46pm

Aww! :( OK sweetie, see ya tonight...

I love you too!

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